don’t worry – i am alive

So, I did okay posting semi-regularly there for a little while.  And then dropped off the face of the planet.  What have I been up to since my last post you ask?

*I visited my good friend from high school and her family in Tennessee.  I got to meet her 10 month old baby for the first time.  And I fell in love.  Like wanted to steal her and bring her home with me.  Oh, how that baby stole my heart!

*We wrapped up football season.  Two games in the post season – not too shabby for our team.

*I saw two of my good friends down in Seattle (ok, Lynnwood) and we went to the Spaghetti Factory.  Which I love.  That browned butter mizithra pasta is to die for.

*I completed my cheerleading judging internship.

*We started basketball season.

*I turned 29.  My roommate made my favorite fondue to celebrate.  Apparently I like cheese based dishes a lot.

*Visited my grannie in the hospital.  Thought she could no longer remember mine or my uncle’s names.  Worried for about 14 hours and then got the call that she was “back”.  We still aren’t quite sure what the issue was, but I’m happy to have her healthy and remembering us again.

*I got deathly ill the day before Thanksgiving and was either on my couch or in my bed for the next 72 hours.  Worst cold ever.

*My first outing from the house was to go see Harry Potter with my roommate.  Loved it.

*Went to our staff Christmas party.  Won the best prize in the raffle.  Can’t wait for my personal boat day sometime next summer!

*Registered to take the WEST-B in January.  It is an entrance exam for grad school.  It was the first “real” step I took towards applying.

*Got our Christmas tree.  Finally figured out that it is better to get a smallish tree rather than one that will take over half of our (already small) living room.

*Did the majority of my Christmas shopping online.  Being able to ship things to Alaska (where I will be for the holidays) is wonderful.  I will still have to check a bag on the plane, but now I can at least pack clothes to wear as well.

*I observed a friend who is a newish (2 years) high school teacher.  It was good to be in a classroom and see what high schoolers are really like in that setting.  I am now excited/nervous for grad school.  Which is exactly what I was feeling before I observed his classes.  Oh, and I accidentally let it drop to my boss that I’m planning to apply for school.  Completely out of the blue.  Good planning, Cait.

*Flew to Spokane to judge a cheerleading competition.  Left Seattle at 8am and was back by 5:45pm.

*Saw Harry Potter again.  Loved it again.

*Went to a cheer coaches association meeting and got nice perfume in the white elephant exchange.  There was a $15 limit, so I’m guessing mine was a regift since the Be Delicous perfume by DKNY that I got retails for much more than that.  But I don’t mind – regifting was my gain.

*Came home and crashed.

*Woke up this morning for another round.  My eye is on the prize of the first weekend in March – cheerleading season will definitely be over by then and perhaps I can get my life back.

 

 

randy roos

Last night I had a bit of trouble falling asleep and started just thinking about random things.  And here they are:

1.  Right now the foods I am craving the most are oyster crackers, caramels, and milk.  And no, I am not pregnant.  Those are just the things I want to eat all the time.  And when I don’t have them I think about how good they would taste.  I’ve rounded out those 3 things with a little Panda Express and pizza lately.  My regular diet is just fabulous isn’t it?

2.  We checked two big things off of the cheer calendar last week.  That is always a relief and it is basically the only way I’m staying sane with cheer right now.  I can survive as long as I am seeing progress.  The next month(ish) will continue to be crazy, but I’m just going to keep plowing through.

3.  I am not happy with Directv.  We’ve had it for 4 years and have had issues with it for at least half that time.  There is now a tree that has grown enough to block the satellite feed and it is messing up the channels we can get and whether it will even be a clear picture.  Which yes, I know, “wah wah, my first world problems are soooo terrible!”.  The issue at this point is that I just hate confrontation and phone calls so I’m not looking forward to canceling Directv and trying to set something up with Comcast.  Why do I not have a personal assistant to do crap like this for me?  Oh right, because I’m not famous or a high powered CEO.  In fact I am an administrative assistant myself.  Thankfully I haven’t yet had to call and cancel my boss’ cable provider.

4.  Speaking of work, it has been CRAZY busy.  I work on the piles of tasks all day and feel like I leave with piles that are the same size at the end of the day.  We’re also getting to the point that everyone is so stressed that they can’t even remember what work has already been done so then they do it over again.  We are wasting time people!  And at this point I just don’t see an end in sight.

5.  I think I might start posting a “Song of the Week”.  Obviously I enjoy sharing the random songs I hear and like and it might be a way for me to just get on here more often and get the thoughts flowing otherwise.  I already have a song for this week picked out, but it will have to wait for its own post.  Gotta spread the wealth here people.

6.  I’ve been reading Harry Potter and I’m pretty much obsessed.  I didn’t read them while they were coming out and in fact thought they were kind of dumb and childish (sorry to my 2 college roommates who were obsessed with them at the time – I’ve been proven wrong).  But since then I’ve seen all the movies and for some reason last spring my current roommate (who was the 3rd college roommate but who also didn’t read them then) and I started to get all crazy about the movies and watched them all on ABCfamily.  I even went to Blockbuster late one night because our dvr hadn’t recorded one properly (damn you Directv) and we were sooo sad not to be able to watch it.  Anyway, I decided to read them and started at the very end of July.  And I am now more than half way through book 5.  And all I want to do is read it all the time.  I don’t want to have to work or coach or make food or clean my room.  I just want to read Harry Potter.  Where is my rich husband who would make it so that I could just sit at home (or even better – by a pool or on a beach while on a tropical vacation) and read?  I have a feeling he is off somewhere with that personal assistant of mine.  Now if I could just track them down.

7.  My mom thinks I might have Lyme disease.  That is the conversation we had on the phone yesterday.  She has some basis for believing this because many of the symptoms are things I have been dealing with.  Except for oh, the TICK BITE AND RASH you are supposed to have.  But I did google it and I could see there might be a slight possibility that this is what is wrong with me.  The symptoms do add up and the first site I read did say that sometimes you don’t notice the bite and that the rash might be so insubstantial that you don’t think anything of it.  Which great.  Now I’ve got stinkin’ Lyme disease.  Thanks Mom.

8.  Sometimes I think the world is going to blow up because of all the ways technology has just exploded (no pun intended) in the last 10 or so years.  I’ve been out of high school for just over 11 years now and the way I live my life and use technology now is so vastly different then it was back then.  Which duh, it is for pretty much anyone.  But it blows my mind that I didn’t have an email address until about the middle of my senior year (I can distinctly remember getting it too – a boy named Josh helped me while we were in our “Applied Graphics” class).  And now with the cell phones and texting and facbeook and blogging and tweeting and skyping and everything!  Which yes, I know this is not a new topic at all, but the thing that set my mind off about it recently was when I was watching the VMA’s on Sunday night and they kept reporting which celebrity was the most popular tweet conversation (is that what you call it?) at that moment.  First of all, who cares?  And second, why are we wasting our time tweeting about random celebrities while we are probably all at home watching it by ourselves?  Where is the face to face interaction?  I just can’t imagine what will be coming next with the rate everything has happened in the last decade.

9.  If you can’t tell from that last entry – I am getting old.  You know, 28.  Which is apparently when you start feeling old.  And when you are a teenager or college student you think that this could NEVER happen to you.  You will always be hip and with it (well at least as hip and with it as you are as a teenager or college student which as we all know varies quite a bit).  But there comes a day or a week or a time period where you realize that things have changed and you either haven’t changed with it or you’ve changed too much to appreciate the world changing.  And suddenly the hipness is no longer there.

10.  Does anyone want to call Directv and Comcast for me?

in the midst of busyness

Well, I was afraid this would happen.  Cheerleading would start and I would become absent from the blog.  Even though I’ve coached for six years I still cannot believe just how much time it takes up.  I feel like I’m in the middle of running a marathon that will last until at least mid October.  There are lots of good things in the mix, but there is just SO MUCH TO DO.  Oh well, must plunge forward and start crossing things off the list.  Even though I’m here near the beginning I do feel like the end is in sight.  Even though the end is in spring and we are just sort of entering fall.  Apparently I’m quite far sighted in this these days.

In the meantime I thought I’d post a link to a song I’ve heard on the radio recently and really enjoyed.  I heard it again this morning right when I was arriving to work and was with it enough to google it when I got to my desk.  It is The Only Exception by Paramore.  I don’t think it is going to let me link the video here, but that’s the link to the official video on YouTube.  You should listen to it if you haven’t already.  I haven’t really listened to Paramore much (at least that I know of), but I think I’ll have to check out what else they have to offer after hearing this.

and so it begins

Guess what.  Cheerleading starts today.  But I promise that I will try my hardest from doing a repeat of last year at this time.  I have decided to take it a day at a time and to focus on getting through chunks of the season rather than panicking about the year as a whole.  I tried to do some end of summer cleaning and organizing yesterday and I’m feeling pretty good about where I’m starting from.  Plus I went to the grocery store and actually tried to stock up on some meal options to at least get me through this week.

All right.  One day at a time people, one day at a time.

back at it?

Well.  It’s been a little less than a year since my last post.  Which was written just a few days before cheerleading season began.  And I just recently got home from cheer camp for this year and am on my official “break” from coaching right now.  Which means I suddenly have time and a desire to actually write on my blog.  One could gather some thoughts/ideas from that pattern, but we’ll leave it at that for now.

The truth is, this has been a difficult year overall.  Cheerleading had its ups and quite a few downs.  My co-coach and I are always somewhat mystified by the way each year always (ALWAYS) brings new situations/problems/joys/anxieties.  We never (NEVER) have a year that just flies on by without any new and hard situation to tackle.  This past year seemed to bring them in droves.  But, I survived!  And I’m planning to coach again next year (although to be honest, part of me feels like I’m crazy for doing it).

My health has given me quite a few problems too.  Starting last fall, I had incredible pain that was brought on by tension headaches – really tension head/neck/shoulder/back aches.  These lasted a good 4 to 5 months and still affect my everyday life to some degree.  I am extremely thankful for physical therapy that basically just involves getting massaged in the specific problem area for an hour or so.  My PT saved my sanity (or what was left of it).  In more recent months I’ve been dealing with being really tired most of the time.  I’m in the process of figuring out the cause (if there is one) and trying to deal with it.  It is affecting my ability to be at work on time and stay focused throughout the day.  Not the greatest when my outside of work schedule doesn’t always leave room for making up hours.

And then to add insult to injury, my parents both had health issues of their own.  Mom had a bunionectomy right before Christmas (lucky for her I was able to be in town to help nurse her back to health – or really just keep her from wanting to kill my dad).  Dad had a heart attack in March that he thankfully seems to be making a full recovery from, but my hope is that he is truly learning from the experience as well and will do a better job taking care of himself.  We shall see.

Now enough with the whining.  There have been exceptional (EXCEPTIONAL!) things that have happened as well.  In October, I was able to travel to Italy with an old college friend.  We did a week long Rick Steves tour in Rome and then we traveled up to Cinque Terre for a few days on our own.  The tour was incredible and I fell in love with Rome.  We saw and did so many amazing things, I still get a little giddy when I think about it.  Like the fact that I’ve actually stood in the Colosseum and walked through the Forum.  These were things I studied in college and to actually see them in person and breathe it all in was amazing.  My very favorite thing we did on the tour was go to the Borghese Gallery.  The statues by Bernini that are held there are some of the most fantastic pieces of art I have ever seen.  So just a tidbit in case you ever find yourself in Rome wondering what to do.  Oh, and another tidbit…the hot men work at the Vatican (and no, I don’t mean the Pope).  I enjoyed our time in Cinque Terre as well, but to be honest I was so ready to be blown away because of all the wonderful things I had heard about it that once I got there it was a tiny bit of a let down.  Plus we were pretty exhausted after our tour (there was lots and lots and lots of walking).

Other great things have happened this year as well.  Lots of friends have had babies.  And really cute babies at that.  I was able to be in Alaska at Christmas and got to celebrate my niece’s 5th birthday with her.  I served on a board for cheer coaches in the state.  Which okay, does not sound like that much fun, but it helped me to be more involved with cheer on a wider level which is something I’ve been wanting for a long time.  And along with that, I also trained to be a judge for cheer competitions and passed all four of the testing points on the first try.  I’m looking forward to judging competitions this fall/winter.  And this last spring I sort of got promoted.  Technically I am still the administrative assistant, but I used to have receptionist responsibilities on top of that and it was getting to the point of being too much to balance.  So I got to move up to a different office and I got a raise.  All good things.

Anyway, I’d like to keep blogging on a regular basis, but I always seem to cave under the pressure.  “What pressure?” you ask.  Um.  Just the pressure I put on myself.  Because I am a perfectionist who only likes to do things if I can do them right and well and you know, perfectly.  So of course we’ll see how this goes, but hopefully it goes somewhere.  Maybe my next post can be less than 10 1/2 months from now?  That’d be a good start.

the countdown begins

Cheer practice starts this coming Thursday.  As in 3 whole days away.  Basically 75 hours from now.  I have mixed emotions.  First, I am sad that my summer is coming to an end.  It has been a good one.  Unusually hot, but still good.  On the other hand, I am excited to see the girls and get geared up and work hard and have them live up to their potential.  I am excited about the propects of what this squad is capable of and how far they can go.  But, I’m also worried that they aren’t going to push themselves much and will rebell against me pushing them.  We shall see.  I’m gearing up for a big pep talk first thing on Thursday.

Besides getting ready for practices to begin, I’m trying to jam an incredible amount of stuff into the next couple of days with a somewhat weird schedule.  Sounds pretty much the same as my life usually is from this time through mid March.  I never understand how other people can get so much stuff done!  I figure they must not sleep.  But I shouldn’t complain.  This weekend I was talking to some friends about facebook (which seems to have become overrun with people these days) and told them that my pet peeve is when people will write a status like “I have so much to do today!  I don’t know how I’ll ever get it all done.”  And the response in my head is always, “Well, get off the damn facebook and maybe you’ll have a chance!”  Of course I never actually say that in a comment.  Because that would be impolite and confrontational.  And then I’d get uncomfortable.

Anyway, I’m just reporting my schedule to you.  I’m not complaining.  So no one needs to confront me about the fact that I’m blogging right now instead of actually getting my crap together and getting something accomplished.

winding down & gearing up

I can’t believe that tomorrow is the last day in June.  It went by really fast.  But looking back I realize I did so much and had a good time throughout it.  Three cheers for June!

I just got back from cheer camp on Saturday.  It was by far the best camp I’ve taken my squad to in the last 5 years that I’ve been a coach.  It was a fairly small camp because some other schools that had been signed up were still in school due to making up for snow days.  Can you imagine?  Still in school during the 4th week of June?  Ugh.  But it made camp nicer for the teams that did make it because we got a lot more individualized attention.  And the girls did great!  I think 16 (out of 21) of them were nominated for All American and 6 actually made the All American team (I think there were only 12 total for the entire camp).  One of the girls was named Top All American of the camp for the second year in a row (and she’s only going to be a junior this year).  One of the seniors was “apped” at the end of the camp.  That means that the NCA staff thought she was good enough to try out for their staff next year and she got a special application to do so.  The team as a whole won the “Top Performance Team” award and received a Nationals bid.  And the other coach and myself won a “Been There, Done That” award acknowledging our commitment, knowledge and dedication to our squad and to cheerleading as a whole.  All in all it was a fabulous 4 days.  Except for the mattresses we slept on in the dorms – we called them our “cement slabs”.  It was seriously an adult version of a crib mattress.  And there was a ginormous hill that we had to go down and up 3 times a day.  Which was never fun, but at least I felt like my legs and butt were getting a good workout.  Makes up for all the cafeteria food we ate there (which was actually pretty tasty).  And now I have a break until August!!!

On to other summer plans.  I’m leaving for Alaska this Friday.  I’m going to be there for about 10 days, but already I’m wondering how I’m going to cram in all my plans.  There are a lot of people to see.  Last time I was there it was for a short trip around Thanksgiving so I didn’t get to see a whole lot of my friends for very long.  I’d like to be able to spend a little more time with everyone.  And some of my other out of state friends will be up there because it is our 10 year high school reunion and we’re all heading back for it.  (Can I just say that I’m so looking forward to the day after the reunion?  Not because I’m nervous about seeing anyone, just because even the idea of planning this event has caused me anxiety for the past year and now I won’t have to think about reunions again for another 10 years.)  I also get to help with one of my best friend’s younger brother’s wedding.  He is getting married to his high school sweetheart who I actually knew when she was just a wee toddler.  And I’ve known the groom since he was in middle school.  Whenever I think of him I just think about him doing calf raises on their stairs because he wanted to get stronger so he could make the 8th grade basketball team.  And now he’s getting married!  And of course I’m excited to see the neice and nephew.  I sent a card to my neice to tell her that I’d be coming and that I hoped we could have a sleepover.  My mom told me that she was very excited about this prospect and had already decided we’d do it at Granny and Granddaddy’s house rather than her own (I have a feeling that’s because she gets spoiled more there).

Anyway, lots of blah blah blah here in this post.  But I’m excited.  Excited about what this past month has brought my way and what’s coming around the corner.  And thinking a lot about how blessed I am.  And that I have a good life.  And that I’m a lucky girl.

awake

I should be getting ready for bed right now.  Actually I should be in bed and have been asleep for awhile.  And I’m tired but I’m not sleepy.  My brain is still whirring from the day.  And not about anything exciting.  Tuesdays are just my really long days right now.  I go straight from work to a 3 hour cheer practice to the grocery store to grab something quick for dinner and then on to my small group (always arriving at least 15 minutes late) and then finally home.  So thoughts and ideas pile up all day and I hardly have time to process anything until the time I should be getting into bed.  I’ve found that I’m definitely someone who has to sit in front of the tv and watch something inane before I can even think about falling asleep (tonight it was 8 minutes of Friends, an episode of Sex and the City, and about 2 minutes of House Hunters International).  I don’t like that I have this habit.  Mostly because I don’t like that I depend on tv to help shut me down.  That doesn’t seem to be the healthiest thing.  I think right now I just need a break.  Good thing I’m taking next week off of work!  I’ve been feeling anxiety slip back into my mind/body/soul and it scares me because I know how paralyzing it can be for me.  And while I can see where having some concern about different things coming up or going on in my life would be okay, its the sense of dread and negativity always at the tip of my brain that just wears me out and gets me in a sort of state of nausea.  I think at the moment a lot of this stems from cheer (random different parts – it is by no means all bad right now) and I’m so looking forward to July just because we’ll be done with camp and we won’t have practice or many events until at least mid August.  It is reminding me a lot of my first 2 of years coaching when I’d wake up with worst case scenarios running through my head and then I wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep.  Its not at that point, but I fear that it could get there.  Ok, I had no idea this post was going to get all deep and troubling.  Apparently that’s what’s on my brain that I hadn’t processed yet and can’t shut off yet.  Ugh.

looking ahead

Yay for June!  I can’t believe how fast this year is already going by, but I am excited for this coming month for a bunch of reasons.

1.  I’m taking next week off of work.  Our PTO runs from July – June and we have to use it all up in the year or else we lose it.  For some reason this year I had a quite a bit left over and had to figure out what to do.  But I’m already going to Alaska in July so a trip up there seemed silly and I didn’t have anyone to travel with somewhere else.  But I do have a bunch of stuff I’ve been either putting off here at home and stuff I’ve just wanted to do but haven’t had time.  So I decided to stick around town and take care of it.  I’ve got a big list of stuff to do and I’ve got to make a plan so that I have at least half a shot at actually following through.  I am really hoping that I get my act together and take advantage of this time rather than just sleeping in and watching tv all week.

2.  My roommate and I are planning to go to Friday Harbor for a day next week.  Its her finals week and she’ll be done with tests pretty early in the week so our time off timing worked out well.  We went last year and it was so beautiful and we had a great relaxing day.

Friday Harbor

 

3.  I get to see my friend Danyeal.  But only because I’m mooch and needed a place to stay in the Seattle area and called her out of the blue to see if I could stay at her place.  But luckily she is a very gracious person and immediately said yes.  It’s only for one night and I have to be somewhere pretty early the next day (thus the need to be down there in the first place).  Anyway, I haven’t seen her since November so I’m excited to get to hang out with her even if its just a short time.

4.  Cheer camp is at the end of the month.  I’m looking forward to this for 2 reasons.  First, the girls always learn a ton and even though its tiring and can be overwhelming it is always a good experience on the whole.  And second, once we’re done with camp I’ll have a break for about a month and a half!  I love coaching, but having time away always makes it better when we get back at it.

5.  So You Think You Can Dance is on TV.  Okay, so technically this season started in May, but it’s about to get to my favorite part (basically anything past the auditions).  I grew up dancing and this show makes me wish I was 17 again and dancing all the time and could go and audition myself.  And this time some of my friends are coming over to watch along with me which always makes it more fun.

Feeling Accomplished

Finally I got some stuff done.  Finally!  Yesterday I had a productive day at work and then I went to our first practice with the brand new cheer squad and then home for a short break while eating dinner and watching my dvr’d Greek and then lo and behold, I cleaned my room, my bathroom, did 2 loads of laundry, sorted through and dealt with a big pile of paperwork I have, and paid bills.  Finally.  It felt really good to just get some stuff out of the way.  There is of course much more on the to do list, but that doesn’t matter at this moment.  Instead I just need to bask in the glow of feeling accomplished.  As I read other blogs (mostly of strangers) I’m always amazed at those people who can just go, go, go every single day.  They get up before 5am and hit the floor running until they go to bed after midnight.  At least that’s what it seems like.  My body and mind just do not function that way.  In fact I’ve found more and more that sometimes I just need a whole day to completely veg out.  Which is what I did on Sunday.  Maybe that’s why it was much easier to get stuff done yesterday?  Anyway, whatever the reason it felt nice.

Our first practice was fun.  I’m looking forward to getting to know the new girls and it’s always fun to see the girls who will be cheering their third year step up into leadership roles.  Every year I have the sense of things going by so fast and I can never believe that my little babies (which is what I lovingly call sophomores) are already going to be seniors.  And it’s always funny to watch them when there are no older girls in the room – they definitely realize that they are top dog now and they definitely like that feeling.  I also noticed that I felt really comfortable in my role.  I think that comes with this being the sixth squad I will have coached but also the relationship I have with this senior class is much different than any other senior class before it.  I think I’m finally getting old enough to feel the distance between us and that makes me feel more comfortable because I know they can’t question my authority as much.  Not that I’m a crazy domineering coach, but it can be hard to discipline a girl who is only 5 years younger than you (like my first year coaching).  Anyway, enough about all that.  It was good and I’m looking forward to seeing how this year pans out.